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SCIENCE says,” Being happy is a choice”!

Friends, let me share a famous quote by Henry David Thoreau a philosopher and environmental scientist,” Happiness is like a butterfly, the more you chase it, the more it will elude you but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softy on your shoulder”.

However, psychologists believe that being happy is a choice that you can exercise.

You can make this elusive butterfly come to you :-

*By simply working on your mind,

*By training your thoughts,

*By cultivating a garden of positive emotions!

I have noticed that some amongst us are inherently happy souls while some have an inborn tendency to be serious, dull, worried, moody, dejected and sad. WHY SO???

The psychologist and author of the bestseller: The How of Happiness: A scientific Approach, Sonja Lyubomirsky says,” 50% happiness is genetically predetermined, you are what you are but the other 50% is certainly within your own control”.

So, friends, since one doesn’t have any control on one’s genetic makeup, why not work on the rest of 50%?

HOW TO CHOOSE to be HAPPY?

These THREE things will make you feel happy, make you feel good about yourself and help you enhance your self-esteem:-

A) HELP PEOPLE…. Everyone loves a gift, all of us are happy receiving, however receiving is not under our control, while giving is! It is a known fact that the giver gets more satisfaction than the receiver. When we give our time, attention, effort or when we help our fellow beings, we ourself feel a sense of well-being. I remember my father’s words so vividly,” Help people when you can, tomorrow you yourself may not be in a position to do something for others”.

B) DON’T REACT, RESPOND….Most of my life, I reacted to the circumstances and to people around me, and now I have realised that spontaneous reactions always worsen the situation.

Sometimes, when I am rushing while driving to work, I am already tense and then someone in front applies breaks suddenly, consequently I bang into his bumper. I am angry, worried, may be my car is damaged, on top of it I am getting late for my work. I end up exchanging hot words, spoiling my day. Later, when I notice that there is hardly any damage to my car, I curse myself for my harsh reaction! I could have paused, examined the damage and then responded in an appropriate manner, I spoiled my mood and ruined my peace of mind unnecessarily!

*We lose relationships/ friendships because we react on the spur of the moment.

*We say/ do hurtful things because we react hastily.

*We make wrong decisions because we react to the circumstances without pausing to think.

All this causes unhappiness!

C) TURN YOUR DREAMS INTO REALITY…. All of us have dreams, unless we turn them into our goals and work towards achieving them, we are unable to find happiness. Dreams may be big or small, one may or may not be able to realise all of them. Just trying to fulfil the set goals can make one feel happy, its any day better than not doing anything. As they say, “The journey is what brings happiness, not the destination”. I always wanted to have a beautiful garden with lots of fruit trees, flowers and a lush green lawn. I have been working on it for the past three years now. I cannot say I have achieved it; however, my garden is shaping up slowly. I felt so very happy to see my poinsettias bloom this winter, now the peaches and mangoes are showing up, grass was dying in this sever heat but I am hoping to revive it during the monsoon season.

Friends, let’s NOT CHASE happiness,

But CHOOSE to be happy,

Because, being happy is a CHOICE,

Renuka.

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