Seniorjosh.com

EXPECTATIONS and ENTITLEMENT RUIN RELATIONSHIPS

Friends, which family doesn’t have some strained, some broken and some uncomfortable relationships.

You may ask,” What is the link?”

Well, let me illustrate with some examples that we see in our daily life around us.

*A classic case of expectations & entitlement ruining relationships amongst the siblings.  

One of my very close friend’s family comprises of two brothers and two sisters, all in their mid- fifties- sixties. There is clear-cut, noticeable grouping amongst the siblings. The elder brother and sister are on one side, the younger ones are in the opposite camp.

All the friends and relatives are aware of the divide, everyone avoids calling both parties together for social get togethers as invariably the situation becomes tense if both parties come face to face.

All the siblings are doing well, the discord is because the elder duo feels that they should be respected, their opinion should be sought and their decisions must prevail in all family matters.    

At the time of inherited property division, younger ones had their own expectations while the older siblings had other plans, being elder they wanted to be in charge.

Ever since the two groups are at logger heads, family dynamics have changed, relations are strained.

Only way forward is cool headed communication!

**THE relationship between the Father and sons is not hunky dory! Mother is strained trying to balance the sons’ sense of entitlement and father’s expectations.

One of our immediate family relations have done extremely well in life. Though they started from very humble beginnings, today they are the owners of a big business empire. Their two sons have also joined the family business now. These young men along with their families travel to exotic destinations on vacations at least twice a year.

The old couple is unable to take vacations as father is still the main stay of the buisiness, keeps the show going while children are away.

Recently, the parents planned a trip to Europe, they asked their travel agent to book air tickets for them in the ECONOMY class. Their agent replied,” Sir, what are you doing? Your son’s travel FIRST class and you are taking Economy tickets?”

That’s the time when the senior couple realised, how their young sons feel, “Since the family are so rich, we are entitled to comfort and luxury.”

The parents had come up the hard way, so they felt that Economy class is just fine.

They are still trying to come to terms with the extravagant life style of their own children who believe in living life KINGSIZE!

Now the situation is that sons’ try to hide their spendthrift indulgences from their parents. As per them,” OUR parents are still living in past, they don’t know how to spend money and enjoy life.”

Parents need to tone down their expectations and the youngsters must overcome the sense of Entitlement!

 ***An elderly couple, both retired from respectable jobs, with 30 years of married life behind them are unhappy in their relationship!

The man has always taken all the major decisions in the family, he represents the era of male domination. Their son opted for love marriage with a well-educated professional girl.

The new couple wants to enjoy modern way of life where both partners are on an equal footing.

Mother-in-law expects the DIL to share the household responsibilities. Even the father-in-law is happy siding with the young couple. Now, the rules are totally different for the daughter-in-law.   

Mother-in-law feels, she is entitled to a comfortable life, authority and respect from the family. The new girl has her own aspirations.

Result……Strained relationships all around in the family!

Again the “TWO Es” are at play, only some give and take, some toning down of attitudes and lots of patience is needed to salvage the relations!

    DEARIES,

Entitlement leads to disappointment,

Expectations cause disharmony in relations,

Strained relationships cause unhappiness,

So, no Expectations & no Entitlement,

Only Harmonious relations & Happiness!

Renuka. 

Add comment

Follow us

Don't be shy, get in touch. We love meeting interesting people and making new friends.

Most popular

Most discussed