We are having a tough time coping up with our independent, modern, and liberated daughters. We parents, especially the mothers are the ones who carry the baggage of our orthodox, restricted upbringing. We were brought up very differently, we were conditioned to put children and the family first, self, the last. Though in our heart of heart we are delighted to see our girls fulfilling their dreams, we are the confused mothers, reluctant and, scared to give our girls the freedom they need to keep pace with times.
Friends, since I am a mother of two grown-up sons with no experience in raising daughters, I requested two of my very close friends to chip in and share their own wisdom on the subject. I took the liberty to combine their inputs, in order to present a wholesome picture here; your views might add a few more facets to this interesting topic, so feel free to write in the comments box.
According to both the contributors, in today’s times, a girl is not considered a burden, she is brought up just like her brothers, she is given equal education, opportunities, and independence, she is encouraged to choose her own life partner, she may even decide to remain single.
Most of the girls are economically independent, they have their own mindset, their own opinions, and their own lifestyle. Parents no more exercise the same control they used to do in the olden days, however, somewhere deep down, our Indian psyche still persists, – “Till a girl is not married, she is parent’s responsibility”.
When Madhavi’s daughter was leaving her home in Uttarakhand to pursue her dream course in Delhi, Madhavi was sick with worry, she felt paranoid about her daughter’s food, commute, and safety. Initially, she would call her so often that even their relationship became a little strained on this account. After some arguments and heartburn, they did settle down to a mutually acceptable routine.
My other friend Nita experienced similar turmoil when her twenty-two-year-old daughter shifted to Mumbai to work as a professional photographer, Nita being a professor at the Delhi university found it difficult to accept her daughter’s decision to go for such an unconventional career.
Friends, one thing is apparent, girls have to move with times, they have to take their place in today’s world.
And, we have to deal with our apprehensions, our anxiety and our mindset.
What we can do is: –
We can try to be understanding parents,
be their friend and, their confidant, without being judgmental.
Instill good values, teach them to remain safe, give them the assurance of our support and, give them the freedom to chart out their own path.
Just because we grew up in a different world,
we cannot shackle them with our rules.
Give them wings and teach them to fly,