So far, I lived with the motto, “Forgive, but don’t forget.” My argument was, if I forget how certain people treated me at a given point in my life, it means, I have not learned my lessons, I am allowing myself to be hurt the same way again by the same people.
I would quote the famous phrase, “Those who don’t learn lessons from history are doomed to repeat it”.
I firmly believed that by remembering those nasty experiences, nurturing my grudges, hating yet holding on to those toxic relationships and ties, I was being strong. I was trying to prove to the world that I can handle it all, not realizing, what a heavy price I was paying? — My own peace of mind.
Forgetting is certainly not wise, after all we are what we are because of all our life experiences.
Though forgiveness is another ball game, it is an intentional, conscious effort to change the feelings/attitude towards another person in order to get rid of the negative emotions, so harmful for our own self.
One-sided desire and effort to make things better never works, also one can only change one’s own self, one’s own reactions to the circumstances/ situations. No one can change another person so why try?
Hopefully, with experience, age and time I am wiser. I have realized that its easier to just let go.
Past incidents/ situations, that remind of those stress-full, uncomfortable times—Let them go.
People who ridiculed you, mistreated you, pulled you down—Let them go.
Thoughts, fears, insecurities that distress you—Let them go.
Difficult situations that you had to endure due to prevailing circumstances—Let them go.
Uncomfortable compromises you had to make against your better judgement—Let them go.
In nut shell, everything that happened in the past and is not a good memory—Let it go.
Friends, this realization dawned on me in these COVID times, now that I have ample time to reflect on a life gone by. Sharing with you, so you girls can correct me or support me as per your own take on the topic.
Friends, let’s embrace peace, tranquility, and forgiveness to usher in HAPPINESS!
Just let go…. whatever is not in our control.
Renuka.